i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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