Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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