I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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