last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
