hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
