i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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