Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
