No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
