I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
