dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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