at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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