she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
bring money and cleavage
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
