Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
