Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He kissed a someone with a penis
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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