Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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