I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
