I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
