Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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