Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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