I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
