Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
