dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
