You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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