Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My ass is underappreciated
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
