As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
