i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
