Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Sober January is a disaster.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
