it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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