the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
