I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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