I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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