I wish I could teleport
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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