u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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