I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
