Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
