Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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