Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
