i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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