I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
