the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
