so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
