I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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