after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
