I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
