hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
