My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
