My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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