Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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