I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I smell stomach acid.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
