i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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