fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
