Need sex. Gaining weight.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
