Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize