That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
