I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I want to have your abortion
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
