great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
A bitchslap is in order.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
