Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
