am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
